


True Love Bull****

by Velace



Series: Swan Queen Week 2015 [5]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F, Fluff and Humor, Idiot!Emma, Jealousy AU, Mild Language, swanqueenweek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-13
Updated: 2015-07-13
Packaged: 2018-04-09 05:25:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4335590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Velace/pseuds/Velace
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Playing Truth or Dare with the former Dark One wasn't Emma's greatest idea. Regina agrees, wholeheartedly.</p>
            </blockquote>





	True Love Bull****

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Français available: [True Love Bull**** - Traduction de Velace](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13360107) by [EvilChachouuu](https://archiveofourown.org/users/EvilChachouuu/pseuds/EvilChachouuu)



> I have a valid explanation for this, and the title. I'm tired...
> 
> I didn't say it was a GOOD explanation.

Rage.

Blinding.

Perfect.

Seething.

Rage.

Emma pauses, catching sight of her reflection from the corner of her eye as she passes the mirror in the hall. She backs up quickly and her eyes widen, horrified as she watches her own hand reach up to touch the patch of green colouring her neck.

"Oh my god, I'm turning into your sister!" She shouts, hearing the sound of heels that herald the Queen's imminent arrival.

"You should get that seen to by a doctor," Regina remarks when she sees her. Robin enters scant seconds behind her and the blinding rage returns in an instant as Emma practically flies across the room.

"What," she seethes, "the hell is he doing in here? This is my home now, forest boy!" She points behind her, somewhere in the general direction of where Regina stands, shaking her head. "My True Love. Mine. Get out."

"Emma, leave Robin alone," Regina chides, the amusement in her tone gone completely unnoticed by Emma who pouts in response.

Traitor, her mind screams as she backs away, knees hitting the couch that she then falls down on to. She narrows her eyes, following Robin as he shuffles across the living room, her fingers twitching, overcome with an unexplainable urge to grab the cushion beside her and smother him with it.

It isn't her, she knows. It's whatever that potion was Rumple slipped into her hot chocolate, but still; the thought is at least a little tempting.

Teach her to play truth or dare with the former Dark One.

Even without his all-powerful magic, Rumplestiltskin is a slimy, manipulative, tricky little f—

"Emma?"

"What," she snaps, blushing a moment later when she realizes Regina is looking at her funny. "Did I grow another head? Because if that's another side-effect, I'm willing to live with it."

"You were humming," Regina states and Emma deflates with relief. A second head would have been a nightmare, honestly.

"Oh."

"It was depressing," Regina adds, an after thought as she retrieves Robin's jacket from the back of the chair and hands it to him.

And _oh_ , Emma thinks, that's why Deputy Pinecone is there. She forgot she'd told him he'd left his jacket here yesterday morning, on account of their whole awkward breakfast ritual where Regina invites way too many people into their house every Sunday because she's _insane_.

He's still a twat.

"Now," Regina interrupts her inner musing once again as Robin turns on his heel, throwing a wave over his shoulder that Emma mimics childishly. Regina sighs, brow raised as if to ask if she's done before she continues. "This—" she says, gesturing to Emma's entire person. "Is getting out of control. You need to turn Rumple back so he'll tell us how to fix this."

"Not possible," Emma replies, bouncing up from the couch. She has a craving for sugar all of a sudden. Regina grabs her by the wrist as she passes her and spins her around.

"What do you mean it isn't possible? You turned him into that… _thing_ , therefore you can undo it."

"Nope," Emma denies, yanking her hand free.

She enters the kitchen, pulling open the freezer and rummaging through it. She knows Regina bought ice cream. "Get out of there," Regina demands, entering seconds later. "You'll ruin your dinner."

"Like that's ever happened," Emma scoffs and pulls back with an _aha!_ as her hand clamps down on the tub of rocky road. Not her favourite, but whatever. "Where's the kid?"

"He grew tired of your abrupt mood swings and went to see his uncle," Regina sighs, waving her hand and sending the ice cream back into the freezer. Putting up with Emma's jealous streak has been more than enough excitement for the day, the last thing she needs is her idiot girlfriend interrupting her sleep when she eats too much and inevitably ends up waking in the middle of the night to vomit.

Emma glares hard at the hand that _was_ holding the ice cream before turning the glare on Regina. "I deserve that ice cream. I resisted suffocating your boyfriend. Give it back."

Eyebrow cocked, Regina shakes her head and turns, leaving Emma to pout as she heads toward her study. Emma certainly likes to beat a dead horse. She isn't about to explain the difference between a soul mate and a boyfriend, _again_ , especially not to her idiotic True Love. If Emma hadn't already dealt with Rumple by turning him into a flying monkey, she'd give considerable thought to murdering the imp.

"Evening, dearie."

Regina grimaces, reminded of why she'd avoided her study since she and Emma returned home—or rather, since she dragged Emma home after breaking up her fight with Red at the diner. Emma can't undo the spell, and yet she had the wherewithal to give Rumple the ability of speech in his new form.

It still disturbs her, hours later.

Monkeys should not be able to speak.

"How do we undo this?"

"Not a clue."

"You were the Dark One…"

"Were," Rumple interjects, "being the operative word, dearie. I honestly haven't the slightest idea how she did this. I'm rather impressed by it, actually."

Groaning, Regina snaps, "You are completely useless."

"I am but a simple monkey," Rumple says airily and Regina throws up her hands in frustration, noting the creepy thing that passes as a smile on his face before she turns back around and storms from the room.

Emma is waiting outside the door, spoon dangling from her mouth. Regina almost has a heart attack, surprised by her sudden in-your-face appearance, before she snatches the ice cream from her hands and yanks the spoon from her mouth. "I need it more than you do," she scowls when Emma tries to protest, slinking off back to the den.

Not one to be ignored or, god forbid, the type of person to give Regina space when she so obviously needs it, Emma saunters into the den and plops down right next to her. "It should wear off," she offers, shifting as close as humanly possible without throwing pretense out the window by climbing into her lap, before Regina can tell her to go away.

Regina rolls her eyes, snatching the remote from the table and turning the TV on. She knows what Emma is doing. She wasn't born yesterday. "It better," she mutters, falling back against the couch.

Emma pouts as Regina twists her body, making sure the ice cream is out of reach. She leans in, murmuring an, "I'm sorry," as lips ghost over her jaw in a phantom kiss.

Regina sighs.

She wasn't born yesterday, but her girlfriend is still unfairly adorable.

"As you should be," she murmurs, swinging the spoon to the side and offering Emma the ice cream that sits atop it. Emma grins, humming as she wraps her lips around it while Regina tries, valiantly, not to let the sight effect her.

She fails, naturally.

Leading Emma in closer with the spoon, Regina leans in until their lips are only a breadth apart. "Next time you're dared to drink something," she purrs. "Don't."

As their lips meet, she feels her magic stir inside her chest at the same moment Emma glows a bright yellow, and groans.

 _Of course_ it was a fucking curse.


End file.
